my heart is breaking

cracking into a thousand shards of my current.

how will i survive my days without her
what will come of my happy
is it worth it
at all?

why does working for her mean that i can't see her every night when i get home

these tears are selfish and i love her

how will she respond

what will she think of me

will she understand that i had no choice?

breaking cracking distracting pain gnawing eating pressing crushing crying sobbing.

through the tears i force a smile, i say "mommy's not crying, mommy's silly. i'm going to miss you baby. be good."

no one ever said it would be easy.
i never imagined it could be this hard.

this is demanding a strength that i never thought i'd need.
that i never knew existed.

now, without an absolutely required piece of my heart i must push harder than ever before.

the quiet stings my ears, my heart, it's piercing through us.

this goes beyond nostalgia

we must do more than ever before.
make it worth it
the problem here is
it never could be.

to miss her

to graduate college for her

it's aching.

i love her..