wow, not fired yet. that's a good thing. i say though, this shit is challenging. who knows if anyone will read this, and even if no one does it doesn't matter.
i have 3 papers to write and two kids to feed
tuition to pay books to buy gas to burn debt to ignore
no checks coming in and no sitters for work
they all tell me what they think ".. i would do"
but what really would anyone else do in my shoes
how would each of the ones who don't know what they say
how would they survive what would they do each day
i'll tell you what each one would do for a start-
they'd wash out the car make it shine just to sell
post it on craigslist, and wave goodbye to tank.
write those three papers while
cooking dinner bathing children and doing laundry
fill out more aps for jobs that you hate
while studying for a midterm that you plan to ace
help a first grader with homework and ants in her pants
helping her through a struggle that you don't understand
then there's that unavoidable phone call from your ex.
the one that throws you off one way or the other
they would ask him for money and listen
to all the reasons and disasters as to why it's not there.
react in any way you want, he's heard it all.
when do i sleep?
good question.
when do we play?
another good one.
but please, tell me what to do.
'cause i'm sure that if you listen as much as you talk maybe i would have all the answers.
but i believe in something invisible.
it's all we have.
and that's what gave me my place to begin.
the music is magical
even without a solid foundation in my life, as i flow down this river, i know that i will find that stronghold. i will plant my roots and emerge from the chaos. my fruits will grow and fall and nourish the seeds of my suffering and calamity. and we will start to add to the forest which grows in this forsaken land. saving our existence from the terrors who care not for the balance. who care only for their empty profit. who care not for the life of my children. not nearly as strong are they, for i am strengthened by a passion given by love. a love for that which shows in my dreams. as i gasp for air in this current, i close my eyes and search for a picture to hold on to.
these seeds will survive. these saplings will thrive. that is the truth i will hold on to.
